Y =

 


*Disclaimer: I have nothing against teachers.


Over the weekend, I was watching a funny video on YouTube where a teacher was yelling at a student because he did not know how to use the ‘Y =’ button was on his calculator. As any other cultured person would do, I read the comment section and actually spent more time reading the comments than the duration of the video itself. What I found was just appalling.

Everyone was defending the student, saying that it’s because of this behavior by the teacher that students are afraid to ask questions, and that this teacher was in the wrong. Such notions are outrageous! The math teacher was absolutely right to scream because the student didn’t know about ‘Y =’. ‘Y =’ is the most important thing anyone will ever encounter in life. I will go as far as to say Y = life. It was the ‘Y =’ function which gave me birth. It was ‘Y =’ which taught me to walk and talk: parents are just side characters. ‘Y =’ is essential to who I am, and to who everyone is.

A CommonApp prompt asked me to describe a background which my application would be incomplete without, and you know what I said? I said ‘Y =’. That light gray button on my TI-84 will continue to guide me through life. When I begin looking for a job, I will not even go on a job search. Instead, I will just push the ‘Y =’ button and my path will automatically unfold. When I have to start paying taxes, I will disregard programs designed to help me with taxes or advice from people, and I will simply trust in the power of ‘Y =’ so that all my taxes are paid. When I buy my first house, I will go to my realtor, and instead of bringing finances or whatever stuff they tell me to bring, I will show them my TI-84. Together, we will push the ‘Y =’ button, and my house will appear.

The voodoo of ‘Y =’ is so magnificent, that if I had to go back in time and show the people from then something from today, I would show them the ‘Y =’ button on my TI-84. All those philosophers questioning the meaning of life would look like fools compared to my handy dandy calculator I bought at Staples during a back-to-school sale before 6th grade.

 I would like to end this post with a brief analysis of a line by Coolio in “Gangsta’s Paradise."

“They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they frontin'; that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool!”

Only now do I realize the true meaning of this. Many have speculated that it is about someone trying to escape binding societal norms but is being continuously pulled back by their community; they are mistaken. See, Coolio is truly referring to ‘Y =’. He wants to learn about ‘Y =’, but nobody is teaching him about it, and it is likely that those others don’t truly understand such a fundamental topic themselves. That is why Coolio says his “life is out of luck,” because ‘Y =’ is life. Without being able to embrace ‘Y =’, life itself is meaningless.

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